Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
tell me about the fingering
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