Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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