You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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