How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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