I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
