The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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