Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
