Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
