the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
