thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
