it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
