I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
