worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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