dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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