Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
