spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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