I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
