I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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