im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
