I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
