dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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