I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
