Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize