hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
