You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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