Its about making memories worth repressing
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
