i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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