ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
