There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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