i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize