sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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