I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
