it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
