put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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