Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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