My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize