i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
