I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
