Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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