Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
