shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
