I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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