We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
