watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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