literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
