It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Randomize
