Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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