I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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