I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Alive.
So much puke
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
