I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
