Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
