she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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