you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
