youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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