Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
