He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
