it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Even my vagina gasped.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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