i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
