Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize