What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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