i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
