the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
