I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
