I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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