am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i love accidental penises.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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