What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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