My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
