Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
